I constantly get asked ‘what makes man so enthusiastic over women and why do we generally feel attracted to them’. Well, the question is both biological and psychological. Let’s have an introspection from Ryan Anderson‘s point of view.
“So often I hear female friends of mine telling me about how ‘guys are so complex’, generally, all I can think to say in response is something like ‘no we’re not, it might seem that way but we’re really not’.
As a man, and someone who has a tendency to over-complicate things, it pains me to say that men are actually exceedingly simple, kind of. And I’m not talking about intellectually simple. Simplistic in their motivations.
There’s a reason why men pursue and court women so vigorously, but it’s not what you think.
It may be at least partly true that a considerable portion of what us men think about is sex, however, I think many people would agree that this is a HUGE oversimplification.
From a biological perspective, men want the same thing that women want: to further theirgenes. The difference is in how they go about it.
Many species can reproduce asexually. This essentially means that individuals don’t need a partner in order to produce offspring. Female Komodo dragons, for instance, are able to produce offspring even when no males are available. Humans must find a mate with whom to reproduce (for better or worse, depending on your point of view). This traditionally requires identifying someone that is willing and able to have sex with you.
Gender differences in attitudes toward sex can largely be explained in terms of parental investment.
Men and women care for their offspring differently, and the discontinuity in attitudes toward sex has a lot to do with the relative investment (both initial and ongoing) that each makes.
Everyone knows that sperm cells are tiny. Really tiny. The eggs they fertilize are much bigger: 1000’s of times bigger. So from the very start women bring a lot more to the table than men.
By most estimates, men are capable of producing millions of sperm (sex cells) each day (the average ejaculate contains around 30-100 million sperm), and they can do this for a long time. Whereas female fertility ends at menopause, men can continue producing sperm throughout their life.
If we estimate that women release eggs at the rate of roughly 1/month, for say 40 years, the lifetime total of ~500 is nowhere near the number of sex cells that men produce. We are talking about the difference between a pebble and a mountain.
So eggs are big, precious, and costly. The metabolic resources contained within are considerable. Sperm, however, are small and inexpensive.
The disparity doesn’t end here though. Beyond the initial metabolic investment, obligate costs for women include both gestation and lactation. All of this is biologically expensive. Obligatory costs for men only really include time, and this, apparently, can amount to only a few seconds.
Women who choose poorly when deciding who to procreate with can pay dearly for it. A deserting male that flees shortly after conception is considerably increasing the amount of work that his partner has to do (by withdrawing his ongoing contribution). For women, it pays to be careful about who to have sex with.
In short, sex is very expensive for women, and very cheap for men. Women are limited in their capacity to produce offspring by their ability and willingness to bear the burden of substantive costs (initial metabolic investment, time/energy expended in gestation, lactation etc.). Men are limited largely by their ability to fertilize eggs.
It’s therefore wise for women to exercise discretion when selecting a partner. Because sex is so ‘cheap’ for men, and the potential rewards so large (offspring – genetic success), they should be far less discriminating in who they choose to have sex with. Not only do men tend to be less fussy than women about who they sleep with, but their attitudes toward sex can be vastly different.
Reproductive success in men can be increased dramatically by inseminating multiple partners. A man could, theoretically, sire several offspring in a very short timespan (hours), providing he has multiple partners. With the exception of having twins/triplets /etc., it is rare for women to give birth twice inside of an 18-month period. According to guinnessworldrecords.com the world record for most number of children by a woman 69. The mark to beat for men is at least 867 (set by a Moroccan Emperor, who presumably thought little of monogamy).
So men are all just a bunch of primitive cavemen who unswervingly follow their biological instincts and sew their oats with reckless abandon right? Not quite, but some of us are selfish, reprehensible, cads, for sure.”